I have a really strong desire to have with an older man?

i'm 19 yr old male, and i've never really been that interested in going with guys, but lately i have this really strong desire to have with an older man, but its usually only ones who probably would never go with another guy, because theyr'e really straight/butch or they've got families? its really confusing me? i cant stop thinking about it and i dont know why?? sorry if this seems like a stupid question.